Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay

In his book Mending the Wounds of Sexual Addiction written by Dr. Mark Laaser he gives us a glance into the life of those addicted to sex. Mark Laaser set out to increase apprehension of sexual dependence as a disease. He leads us to detect how sexual dependence takes over the life of the sexually addicted individual and causes desolation from a Christian universe position. In his book Dr. Laaser examines what he calls the edifice blocks behaviours that begin the rhythm that leads to sexual dependence. and the household kineticss that contribute to sexual dependence. The sexual dependence in the church is addressed along with how the church can retrieve. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.

Mending the Wounds of Sexual Addiction written by Dr. Mark Laaser ( 2004 ) analyses sexual dependence from a Christian universe position. Dr. Laaser ( 2004 ) is a retrieving sex nut with personal experience of the hurting and shame of sexual dependence. Sexual dependence is described as a illness affecting any type of unmanageable sexual activity ( Laaser. 2004 ) . Unlike other diseases. Christian sex nuts have the added complication of non seeking aid because they feel they will be hated. shunned. laughed at. or punished if anyone knew their wickedness ( Laaser. 2004 ) : nevertheless. as Laaser ( 2004. p. 224 ) stated in his book “while sexual wickedness is lay waste toing. there is hope for healing” .


In his book Mending the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Dr. Mark Laaser ( 2004 ) identifies sexual dependence. the rhythm that causes it. and hope for those who are sexually addicted. His theory of sexual dependence is that it is a disease and immoral. As with all wickedness. it escalates into a downward spiral that if left untreated can do decease to the evildoer. Laaser ( 2004 ) believes although sexual dependence is a wickedness it is besides a disease. This leaves small uncertainty for Dr. Laaser. that “we are engaged in warfare when we attempt to mend sexual dependence ( Laaser. 2004. p. 25 ) . ” He believes the oncoming of sexual dependence consist of edifice block behaviours. these are sexual activities that cause the rhythm of other sexual behaviours.


Laaser ( 2004. p. 29 ) explains “these constructing block behaviours are fantasy. erotica. and onanism. ” These behaviours cause a rhythm where the nut can ne’er happen satisfaction. In this rhythm of sexual dependence. the addict attempts to be in control but can non derive control without mending. As with most wickednesss one time caught in the rhythm of sexual dependence it is impossible to acquire out without aid. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.  I believe that the church is responsible for assisting to mend people who are ill. Merely as a individual with diabetes or any other chronic disease the sexually addicted individual needs a therapist.

Family Dynamicss

Dr. Laaser ( 2004. p. 76 ) discusses the roots to sexual dependence. which he says “begins in households that possess unhealthy kineticss and features. ” One manner families’ express unhealthy kineticss are through boundaries. Boundaries can be excessively loose or excessively stiff. Some households may hold both loose and stiff boundaries. which causes confusion in kids.

Rules are another force at work lending to unhealthy households. Dr. Laaser ( 2004 ) states some households have regulations of behavior that prevent tenseness from acquiring out of control. These regulations are likely ne’er spoken or written down but the whole household knows them. Some of these regulations are non speaking about feelings. jobs or abashing state of affairss. this could be concealing one’s feelings or denying jobs ( Laaser. 2004 ) . The 3rd class that contributes to unhealthy household kineticss are the functions people play in the household unit. These functions can be unhealthy when a individual is forced into playing a function he was non created to play ( Laaser. 2004 ) . The concluding class is dependences. dependences can be substance or behavioural things that have become insistent in an unwieldy manner and lead to destructive effects.

As a kid I grew up in a household that had both loose and stiff boundaries refering sex. I was told sex was something you do non make. besides that it was something you do non talk of. I grew up non cognizing what healthy boundaries were. This helps me to understand how a individual could go sexually addicted. I know I could sympathize with a individual who is sexually addicted. As a Christian I have learned what healthy boundaries are and what my function is as a individual in Christ. I believe that sexual dependence is immoral. but it is besides a disease. I besides believe that an nut can non acquire out of the rhythm of sexual dependence without aid. Therefore as the church we are to be the custodies of Christ making out to assist those who need mending from sexual dependence. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.

Treatment of Sexual Addiction

When seeing new patients Dr. Laaser ( 2004 ) asks three religious inquiries. The first inquiry is “do you want to acquire good ( pg. 122 ) ? ” He relates this inquiry to the narrative of the adult male at the pool of Bethesda. where Jesus asked the adult male “do you want to acquire well” . The correlativity is that to acquire good the individual must desire to acquire good. They must give up their past hurting and agony to God. and happen alternate ways to happen love and fostering they need. This requires a life-time of find. but it all starts with willingness ( Laaser. 2004 ) . The last two inquiries are “what are you thirsty for ( Laaser. 2004. p. 123 ) ” and “are you willing to decease to yourself ( Laaser. 2004. p. 124 ) . ” The nut must be ready to be healed. be thirsty for God. and be willing to decease to themselves in order to get down the healing procedure.

Dr. Laaser’s intervention besides involves 10 constituents of answerability. Accountability is necessary in order for the nut to keep sexual pureness ( Laaser. 2004 ) . He relates the answerability to the narrative of Nehemiah reconstructing the metropolis that has been destroyed. As in Nehemiah the nut must hold person to be accountable to.

When the nut has agreed to intervention Dr. Laaser recommends at that place be a professional in topographic point to care for them. Harmonizing to Laaser ( 2004 ) there are a turning figure of Christian Counselors trained to give a formal diagnosing. The nut should be taken to this professional instantly to get down intervention.

Dr. Laaser so gives five constituents of intervention of sexual dependence. These include halting sexual behaviour. halting rites. halting phantasy. mending desperation and healing shame. Elementss of all five of these are required for an effectual intervention program ( Laaser. 2004 ) .  Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.I believe that larning ne’er ends particularly in respects to human behaviour. I believe I have the empathy and positive respect for a individual that has a sexual dependence to handle them. After working with nuts for a twelvemonth I learned that this disease is accustomed and that it is a rhythm that is non easy broken. It takes forbearance and doggedness to work with an nut. Most of all I believe it take compassion for that individual. Knowing that recovery is a womb-to-tomb procedure and takes a life clip of work.

Sexual Addiction and the Church

A leading Journal study revealed that 23 per centum of 300 curates had done something sexually inappropriate with person other than their partner ( Laaser. 2004. p. 194 ) . There are a assortment of things that contribute to pastors’ sexual exposure. However it is still the duty of the curate to acquire aid and non move on these exposures. In order for the church to mend Laaser ( 2004 ) believes we must convey mending to two groups: primary victims and secondary victims. Primary victims are those who have been sexually abused by leaders. Secondary victims are those in the fold who were betrayed because of religion in the curate. In caring for primary victims Dr. Laaser recommends that the church provide advocators who can steer these victims in the procedure of healing.

The church should supply family to the victims. and reding. Care for secondary victims involves interrupting the silence. the grieving procedure. accommodating the victims to the church. and bar. Prevention involves developing healthy boundaries in the fold in order to forestall lesions. Dr. Laaser has several sentiments in which I agree. One of the most of import parts of mending the church as a whole is to develop healthy boundaries in the church. This would forestall people from being wounded and injuring others.

The church as a whole must mend the curates and the fold. Offer curates help so that they do non go burdened by their occupation. and doing them be accountable to person. I besides agree that we must talk out and non conceal any injudiciousness in the church and when there is an incidence it should be brought out in the unfastened. This would halt culprits from go oning to harm others. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.


The nut is ne’er wholly cured from sexual dependence. It takes a life-time of work and doggedness to interrupt the forms that cause a individual to be sexually addicted. To retrieve from the trap of dependence a individual has to come to the terminal of themselves and admit they need aid. The shame and fright from their wonts make it difficult for the nut to swear plenty to seek aid. Dr. Laaser stated accepting their impotence over their disease leaves them with a great humbleness and demand for God. which is a deep facet of their religious healing ( p. 223 ) .

Laaser. M. R. ( 2004 ) . Mending the Wounds of Sexual Addiction. Grand Rapids. Myocardial infarction: Zondervan.

A Critical Review of Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Pamela D. McKoy Liberty University

Abstract This critical review will attempt to summarize the book “Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction” written by, Dr. Mark R. Laaser. Highlighting all the central themes and giving an in-depth analysis of Dr. Laaser’s work on the subject of sexual addiction. It will give his perspective and evidence to support it from the book and other sources. In this review you will find that Dr.

Laaser has added valuable insight to the subject on a personal level. It will also show how Dr. Laaser’s faith comes into play, being that the book is written from a Christian point of view using a Biblical worldview. This review will show that the book can and should be used by lay and professionals alike when dealing with those who suffer from the pain and sin of sexual addiction. Keywords: sexual addiction, worldview

Summary Dr. Mark Lasser’s book “Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction” gives hope for those who are in the throes of sexual addiction and those who suffer with them. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.

Laaser feels that this book is important because of the pain and desperation that he experienced from sexual addiction; he now wants to share what he has learned about the power of the Lord and healing. In this book he relates how sexual addiction has grown to epidemic proportions (Laaser, 2004, pp.17). The internet has been the source of much of that growth, with a bevy of materials of a sexual nature being readily available to everyone with computer access. The internet has just what they are looking for in the form of pornography for sexual gratification and release. Those who are not seeking this are also bombarded with unwanted pop-ups advertising sexual related materials.

Mark Laaser writes about the secret sin, it is one often times not seen or heard, sexual addiction. He feels that it starts in childhood continuing into adolescence, where it is most time seen as a normal developmental phase. When the person reaches adulthood untreated it becomes worse over time, if left along it could lead to death. He feels that it is an addictive disease that has been around since the beginning of time. It has been misnamed and has gone undiagnosed for centuries, there still is a few who does not believe in its existence (Lasser, 2004, pp.15). With this book Laaser hopes to address this issue with Christians, bringing to the forefront a problem that has plagued the Christian community for hundreds of years (Lasser, 2004, pp.16). This is problem that has been whispered about, causing many to leave their faith and seek other means of peace. There is much shame and disgrace for the person and their family, so it is hidden from all. With sound help and education the healing process starts.

Major themes of “Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction” are listed below with explanation: Part 1: What is Sexual Addiction?
Here you will find that sexual addiction is a sin.

That fantasy, pornography and masturbation are building block behaviors. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.  The types of sexual addiction: cyber, prostitution, rape and incest etc. Understanding and identifying characteristics of sexual addiction. Part 2: The Roots of Sexual Addiction (how and why) sexual addiction happens. Unhealthy family dynamics: boundaries, rules, roles and addictions Family abuse: emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual

How sex addicts cope with abuse: escape and codependency
Part 3: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction
The journey of healing
Confronting the sex addict: one on one intervention and group intervention Treatment issues in sexual addiction

Healing for couples: important and critical issues that face couples Part 4: Healing the Wounds of the Church

Sexually addicted Pastors and priests: characteristics of their sexual addiction Healing for the congregations: primary victims and secondary victims (Lasser, 2004) The information provided in this book is a detailed look at the problem of addiction and the hope of recovery. Laaser wrote this book to educate the church (Laaser, 2004, pp.223).

Analysis Mark Laaser’s point of view is one that comes from suffering from the secret sin of sexual addiction and being a Christian enjoying the life of recovery. He approaches this subject with a Biblical worldview, this is appropriate because we all fall short with sin. God offers help with His Word to break free of addiction in 1 Corinthians, 6:18 it said “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but that he committeth fornication sinneth against his own body (Bible KVJ). In the book “Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction” he exhibits his faith for the readers to see. This in turn makes the Christian comfortable enough to read the text and get an understanding. Many experts have found that 10% of Christians in America are sexually addicted.

If this is a fact then a congregation with 500 members would mean that 50 of them are sex addicts. Experts say that the percentages are on the rise. Two-thirds of all Christian men admitted to watching pornography as well as 40% of Pastors (Laaser, 2004, pp.15). The church can no longer ignore this problem, families cannot duck in shame this has to be addressed and this book is Mark Laaser’s way of doing just that. Laaser knows that there is no cure for sexual addiction but expresses that it is an ongoing process on a day to day basis. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.

That this is a healing process not a cure, addicts must deal with their demons and have a Spiritual healing (Laaser, 2004, pp.223). This Spiritual healing is part of the process that Laaser writes about within the church and the part that they should play. The role of the Christian community is one of healing and hope for those sexually addicted. The church should create an environment of safety, welcome and honesty for them, since sexual addiction is one of loneness. Sexually addicted people need to be held accountable this is another role of the church (Hinson, 2009, pp.53). All these views are shared by Laaser and many others in the Christian community. This is strong evidence that Laaser is on track with this book and his ideas. When researched “sexual addiction in the Christian community” you will find that Laaser is a resounding voice which is use often and his views shared by many. Laaser said to provide support for the sexually addicted is not easy but very doable. To help the individual, he promotes giving them the help to overcome inappropriate coping mechanism and behaviors. Compassion and empathy must be present in those giving the help. When dealing with the addicted person, we cannot be judgmental or make assumptions about them, but give them what God gave us, love and acceptance.

Laaser writes that the addict needs to want to get well before you attempt to help them. Then you must establish accountability for the addict, a Spiritual journey of rebirth is required to let old sin and self pass away to be able to experience a new life. This is a long process one that takes a life time of being ever watchful of your actions. Laaser outlines individual and group addiction intervention strategies that are based on a Biblical model of discipline in the Gospel in the book of Matthew. This model targets the building blocks of addiction with a 90 day abstinence contract in force (Laaser, 2004. pp.149). The outcome depends totally on the work that the addict puts into they can heal if they desire it. This book is written in a straight forward manner it pulls no punches and the reader is pulled into the commentary. This is an excellent book for those in need of information pertaining to sexual addiction and how to recover from it. The reader can almost feel the care and love that went into writing the book even if they are not Christian.

Conclusion With much research, I have concluded that Laaser is on to something that is heaven sent and wonderful in the field of sexual addiction. He lays his faith and innermost thoughts out for all to see, you can see the care that he took with this book. He writes from the left side of addiction as a person who has been there and knows what it takes to heal. A passive approach is not the way that gives us this book nor should we use it passively. The information provided in this book is factual. Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay.  I have a friend who has suffered the hurt of sexual addiction and Laaser’s books and model were used in her treatment. You could honestly see the rebirth she had over a course of a year. This works and I personally would recommend anyone who is suffering or in the field to buy it and keep it close. I feel also that sexual addiction is as a disease where alcoholism was 50 years ago.


This is not even listed as a condition in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Experts are not in agreement that problematic sexual behaviors should be classified as an addiction. They all seem to agree with Laaser that the behaviors are about shame and low self-esteem. I feel that Laaser’s book takes the right tone and approach, one of love, concern and action to deal with the problem. This book is offering a solution to healing the healthy Godly way. I find that the Spiritual aspects of the book to be for all who read it. When he relate the story about Nehemiah rebuilding Jerusalem after it was destroyed, I saw the correlation of sexual addiction destroying lives both to be rebuilt by the Lord. All I all it will be my go to book in my professional career and I will present it to the church as a tool of guidance for those in need.

References Laaser, R. M., (2004) Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Hinson, W. R. & Parker, D., (2009) Sexual Addictions: Problems and solutions for the Christian community, 17, 1, Art, 12, Leaven

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction Essay