Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay

Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay

Parents and families play a key role in character development.

Parents who create positive home learning environments know that communicating about academics and homework is important. They also understand that family values get passed from one generation to the next. But how we instill values and character strengths in kids often seems mysterious. Is it through discipline, living our own values, treating kids with respect, or a combination of the many ways we interact with our children?Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay


Children are losing hope, giving up on life, and feeling insecure about themselves at alarmingly young ages. Maria Rose Reifler, a gifted fifth grade teacher in East Los Angeles, asks, “Where are the parents?” And for good reason.

Parents are part of the solution. They can help reverse this trend by building character strengths in children. The ways in which families talk about and reinforce character development from preschool through adolescence is vital to positive youth development.

Give Meaningful Praise
I often hear parents of young children say “Good job!” when a child does something noteworthy. But do children understand the message behind this general statement?Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay

As children get older, they get more and more generalized praise. Perhaps they receive a trophy for being on the winning team. They might receive congratulatory remarks on good grades or for participating in a performance or special event. In fact, many children get praised for everything, in the mistaken belief it will increase their self-esteem.

Praise becomes meaningless to kids unless they learn from it. Just as they learn from constructive feedback on academics and homework, they learn to develop positive character traits from well-communicated praise.

Parents have a great opportunity to help kids identify and build on their character strengths by changing the way they give praise. I’m not suggesting that all generalized comments be eliminated. Rather, whenever more specific praise can be given, the more valuable it is for a child. Here are some suggestions:

Familiarize yourself with the character strengths listed at the VIA Institute on Character.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
When your children act in ways that exemplify one of these strengths, praise them for it. Be specific. Praise their enthusiasm, honesty, kindness, teamwork, fairness, humility, etc.
By making your praise more specific, you help kids learn that character strengths matter. And you communicate appreciation for who they are, not just for what they do.
Also read the fascinating research by Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford, who discovered that praising kids for their intelligence actually made them less likely to persist in the face of challenge.
Recognize Positive Character Attributes in Others
How Families Develop Character in Children, by Marilyn Price-Mitchell PhD

As children learn to become aware of their own character strengths, they also learn to identify character strengths in others. And when they do, they eventually develop role models who inspire them. One way to teach kids to recognize strengths in others is through books and movies, where they are well exemplified.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay

Whether geared for very young children or adolescents, there is rich opportunity to talk about character as parents and children reflect on movies and books together. Even cartoon characters exemplify character strengths!

Dr. Ryan Niemiec is a psychologist, movie critic, and author of Positive Psychology at the Movies: Using Films to Build Virtues and Character Strengths. In his book, he lists a myriad of movies for older children that focus on different character strengths and virtues.

Usually the parents are the first people to have an influence on a child aand their values. A good
mannered person is always loved, respected and welcomed everywhere by everybody. Good manners are
acquired more by observation than by formal teaching. Right from childhood a toddler will imitate his/her
parents. It is therefore necessary that parents are alert, because the children, like monkeys imitate what their
parents do. These days most of the parents have one or two children and they tend to be too indulgent with them.
parents must themselves be an example of good behaviour for their children.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
Good manners are not taught through formal teaching. They are acquired more by observation
It is therefore imperative that parents are very cautious. Children are very smart and observant. Whatever
the parents do or talk, they mimic their parents. You must have noticed that children generally speak in the same
tone and manner in which their parents speak. Good manners are not taught through formal teaching. They are
acquired more by observation. The parent should not give too many instructions to the children. Allow the child
to learn from your manners rather than lecture.
Some of the guidelines which the parents must keep in mind
 Good behaviour: A child‟s behaviour is the basis of all good manners. He/she should be polite and
respectful to the elders. He/she should learn to say the words „thanks‟, „sorry‟,‟ welcome‟ and „beg
your pardon‟.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
 A child must learn to be truthful. The parents must take care that they do not even tell harmless „lies‟
which will ultimately confuse the child.
 The children must acquire good etiquettes. They should have good table manners. They should know
how to hold the spoon and fork.
 To inculcate good table manners the parents may take the children occasionally out for dinner/lunch.
They should learn that they must not leave anything in the plate.
 Children learn a lot while on the playground. The qualities of give and take, sportsmanship, friendship
and concern for others are acquired during sports.
Vol-1 Issue-2 2016 IJARIIE-ISSN(O)-2395-4396
National Conference on “Value Education Through Teacher Education”
C-1264 59
 The children must be benevolent and kind not only towards their elders but also towards those who are
younger in age.
 If the mother is expecting a baby, ensure that the elder child must be prepared to share the mother‟s
love with the sibling. For this the parents have to be cautious because the elder child becomes jealous
of the younger brother/sister which continues till later life.
 The parents must respect the feelings and individuality of their children. They should never belittle
their child in front of his friends or outsiders.
 The child must learn not to throw tantrums. It should be made clear to them that their obstinacy will
not be tolerated.
TEN important qualities to inculcate:Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
To inculcate good values parents should concentrate the following ten qualities which are essential for a
good human being
1. Not to be jealous
2. To be courageous
3. Leadership qualities
4. Responsibility
5. Punctuality
6. Discipline
7. Respect
8.Self management
9. To be honest and truthfulness
10. Good etiquette.
Ways to inculcate good values:
It takes time to acquire a habit and the parents need to be patient with their children. Keep repeating these
habits every day so the child inculcates it more promptly. Sometimes, parents are not aware what habits they
should teach their children. So to make things easy, here is a list good habits you can teach your child daily.
 Keep Things Positive:
Having a positive frame of mind is extremely essential for a parent during child‟s initial years.
Everything that teaches to child now will leave a mark on his thought pattern. The last thing a parent would
want is to see the kid take the route of pessimism and depression as a teen or an adult. Adopt a positive frame of
mind, and make sure the environment at home is happy and comfortable.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
In the book titled „Purposeful Parenting: Strategies for Raising Children Who Achieve‟, Dr.
Rose T. Watson states that those children who are cuddled and communicated with in a regular basis grow up to
be more confident individuals. This also paves the way for a positive environment at home. Children also need
their own furniture and toys, they feel secure in their own space.Dr. Watson suggests parents to use the furniture
and toys to teach responsibility within the household, like teaching the child to keep the toys back in the right
place after playtime is over.
 Be Realistic With Your Expectations:
One of the most important factors to remember while bringing up the child is to keep our
expectations realistic. Kid is bound to make mistakes at some point of time, and a parent need to deal with it
Vol-1 Issue-2 2016 IJARIIE-ISSN(O)-2395-4396
National Conference on “Value Education Through Teacher Education”
C-1264 60
patiently and gracefully. Remember that kid is still small and inexperienced, and he will most likely emulate
what he observes around him. Children will learn to do what you expect from them if your expectations as a
parent are realistic. As parents you have to realize that children don‟t learn at same rate and within the same
time frame and with the same ease. Nor can they reach a uniform level of achievement even when they grow up
to be adults. Even though, parents are aware of this still they have high expectations from their children.
Naturally there will be some expectations but they shouldn‟t be rosy expectations.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
Sometimes rosy expectations can inspire parents to spend quality time with their children and
give their children enough support to use their potential to the maximum extent. However if unrealistic
expectations exceed the potential that the child has, it can be harmful for the child‟s development and self-image.
So, parents actually need to be patient for the child‟s skills and interests to develop in his formative years. If
parents are high achievers they expect their children to reach that level. However, as parents you should realize
that children‟s job is to learn and play. So let them enjoy their childhood and don‟t bog them down with your
expectations. You can‟t expect adult behavior from little children! Parents often feel exasperated by their
children‟s behavior, all they want is your attention and that is an example of normal behavior from kids.
 Encourage Family Bonding:
Family time is extremely important for a growing kid. Introduce him to the different members
of a family; explain how they are related to him and how he should be treating them. This way, he will learn to
value people around him and as well be learning the importance of family right from the beginning.
 Set Strong Ground Rules:Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
As a parent, it is extremely important for you to set down rules for your kid, especially after he
has started his school. Now is the time to make a routine time table for a kid. Set out fixed hours for playtime,
homework and screen time. Give him 15 minutes every day to clean his room and an hour to relax out in the
garden. Try to make a flexible routine and don‟t be too strict while allocating time for study and play. Keep
adequate time for playing as sports help in both physical and mental development.
 Make Him Understand:
Probably the most important aspect of growing up is to make a kid eat healthy food. Kids
good habits always need to start early. If a kid insists on picking up a pack of 2-minute noodles from the
supermarket, ask him to read out the ingredients on the label. Explain him why he should not consume instant
food with harmful ingredients like sodium glutamate that can cause health complications in the long run.
Educate a child about the importance of having a nutritious diet as compared to junk food.
 Reward a Child:
It is a great idea to reward a child for his good behavior. This will keep him motivated and
will help him stick to being at his best behavior always. However, a key point to note here is to avoid rewarding
your kid with materialistic things like chocolates, an hour of TV and the like. Make the rewards intangible – a
hug, a word of appreciation etc. Reward a child with good experiences- this way; he will learn that happiness
lies in enriching experiences rather than worldly pleasures.
 Show Respect:
Respecting elders is something would want a kid to build as his etiquette. If a parent hasn‟t
done that already, it‟s now time to encourage him to do the same. Read out bedtime stories that talk about kids
seeking blessings from the elders and helping them out with their activities. It is also a great way to help a kid
connect with his grandparents.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
 Manage Pocket Money:
This one is probably one of the most important factors in most households. Thankfully, it isn‟t that tough.
Try and get a rough estimation of how much money your kid needs. Give him a fixed amount every month. Also,
get your kid a „piggy bank‟ and ask him to try and save money for anything he‟d like to purchase later. This will
get him into the habit of saving. Nowadays banks are offering opportunity for opening bank accounts for minors.
A parent can ask your child to open a bank account and manage his own pocket money. It is very important to
Vol-1 Issue-2 2016 IJARIIE-ISSN(O)-2395-4396
National Conference on “Value Education Through Teacher Education”
C-1264 61
learn how a bank functions; this will pave the way towards making your child a self-sufficient, confident and
independent individual.
 Be Responsible:
Getting your kid to be responsible is not easy, but there are some good ways you can make
your child to feel accountable. If your little one is old enough, consider getting him a pet- this will instill a sense
of responsibility in your kid. Hand over something important to your kid and ask him to keep it safe, and see
how he goes about it. These small methods are effective to make your kid become responsible.
 Set Expectations:
As a parent, it is okay to set expectations with your child. Explain him that you would want
him to achieve success in life and be a pro at whatever he wants. Don‟t overburden him, but do not forget to
give a pat on his back whether he stands up to your expectations or not. Appreciate the fact that he tried. This
way, you‟ll motivate him constantly to do his best.
 Say No and YES in a correct time:
Your child should know that when you say „No‟ to something, it‟s a final call! The last thing
you need is your kid turning into an arrogant and ruthless personality who always gets away with his excuses.
Remind him that you in authority and you will be the one making decisions on his behalf till he grows older. Of
course, make him realize the fact that he can always get a chance to voice his opinion and explain his side; but
of course, the end verdict will be yours.Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay
As much as saying „No‟ matters, you must know when to say „Yes‟ as well. If your child has
to attend a birthday party, let him go ahead and actively participate, even if it means changes in the schedule.
The little things that enhance your kid‟s social skills are completely acceptable.
 Be a Role Model:
One of the best ways to develop good habits for kids is by setting good example yourselves.
Your child learns most of the things watching your everyday behavior and habits. Hence it becomes important
for you to exhibit the best so that he imbibes the same.
 Appreciate His Achievements:
Appreciate your kid and respect him for his achievements, irrespective of how tiny they are.
Remember that he‟s soon going to be an adult, and this is the time you should start grooming him to be
responsible and in control of his actions. This will help your child remember that good actions have positive
results and attract appreciation.
Parenting is nothing short of a challenging experience and it isn‟t a smooth road. Expect a lot of bumps
on the way. Rest assured that you‟ll be able to handle everything wonderfully if you just keep calm and deal
with your kid in the right way. Always be mindful of the fact that being too strict or too easy isn‟t going to help.
Finding a balance is the best way to handle any situation. Do not hesitate to seek advice from other parents, and
even friends and family. You can also have a talk with your pediatrician and learn more about your child‟s
development status and the measures you need to apply. Remember that your kid‟s good habits always begin at
home. A good habit for children helps your child grow up soon and be a wonderful and successful human being.
Make sure you‟re there throughout to guide and support him. Don‟t forget to share your parenting experiences
with us.  Child’s Upbringing In Instilling Key Traits Essay